


Don't Leave Me

by Fandom746



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake Character Death, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied immortal husbands, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:40:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21714694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom746/pseuds/Fandom746
Summary: Alec faces his worst fears. Is Magnus around to help him? Or has he left him forever?
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 99





	Don't Leave Me

Alec thought he knew pain. He was a shadowhunter after all. In all his years of active service, he had been bitten, stabbed, slashed at, even burnt during demon hunts and patrols. He remembered the pain of a sting piercing his body, of ichor burning his skin wherever it had landed, of breaking bones and coming back home limping, bruised and bloodied. 

So, Alec thought he knew all about pain. But he had never been so wrong. Nothing he had ever faced even came close to the pain he was facing now. It was pure agony.

Alec looked at the body lying cold and lifeless in his arms, and it was like he was suspended in time. He didn't process anything around him...he just couldn't, not when his anchor to life had been ripped away from him, leaving him floating around like an aimless boat lost in the ocean. 

A sob broke out of his throat, and Alec clutched the body closer to himself, squeezing it tight, and wishing to turn back time, to have one more chance. He rocked back and forth slightly, tears streaming down his cheeks as he slowly lowered the body onto the floor. 

Magnus's face appeared slack and calm before him, almost as if he were sleeping, and Alec wished desperately for it to be true, that he was indeed just resting and would wake up any minute, turning his cat eyes up at him, glinting gold and green in the dim light. He placed his palm over the place where Magnus's heart laid, and the empty feeling completely devoid of the constant steady reassuring heartbeat was enough to effectively freeze him in place again.

Alec didnt know how long he sat there for, kneeling beside Magnus, when suddenly a small movement pulled him out of his daze. There was a tiny thump against his palm, almost impossible to detect. Alec immediately laid his head over Magnus's heart, feeling the faint heartbeat becoming gradually stronger. Magnus's magic flitted around, healing the wound in his stomach, and in no time at all, Magnus sat up suddenly, shoulders heaving with the effort. 

"Magnus! Oh thank the Angel..... you're safe. Im right here Mags, ill take care of you. Im so glad i didnt lose you.....You're okay, you're okay..." Alec muttered softly and clutched the warlock to his chest. He was so caught up in the tide of his emotions, that he failed to realise that Magnus had stiffened in his arms. It was only when Magnus pulled away hastily, flinging himself backwards and out of Alec's arms, that he noticed something was wrong.

"Magnus...... what is it? What's wrong? Its just me here Mags, you're safe." Alec looked into Magnus's eyes, imploring him to see reason, to return to his arms, which felt cold and empty now that they weren't wrapped around the warlock anymore. But what he saw wasnt adoration, or trust....it wasnt love. Magnus's eyes appeared like a blank sheet as he stared back at Alec. But the worst thing was that Alec realised that there was no recognition in Magnus's gaze, only a deep sense of mistrust.

"Who are you, shadowhunter? Why are you here? Get away from me. " Magnus snapped at Alec, rising to his feet. Alec stayed on the ground, looking up at the magnificient figure. "Magnus, you know who I am....im Alec....your Alexander." He said in a small tone, voice breaking at the end of the sentence. 

Nothing changed in Magnus's eyes. There was no flash of recognition, no memory of the boy kneeling in front of him. "I dont know any such person. Now i am going to leave. Don't follow me." Magnus said, in a steady tone and turned around. Alec tried to reach out to him, to place his palm on his shoulder, clutch his arm and beg him to stay, but Magnus slipped out of his grasp like sand. He walked away, away from his soulmate and all the hopes they had had for their future together, away from the shadowhunter he had rescued many times in more ways than one. Magnus walked away with sure steps, leaving Alec staring at his receeding back, numb with shock and pain as tears cascaded down his cheeks once more. 

He would always lose Magnus.

And as the thought of being truly alone once more, of having to shut himself away like he once used to, plunged in his mind, turning his blood to ice, Alec sat up abruptly, gasping out loud, no longer able to contain his sobs within himself. 

***

Alec blinked slowly as he took in his surroundings, still breathing heavily, tears overflowing from his eyes, and realised that he was in Magnus's bedroom. In their bedroom. His sobs had quietened but the feeling of pure loneliness and agony still gripped his heart. He knew now that what he had seen was merely a nightmare, but he had just seen Magnus die, and then seen him come back to life, only to not know who Alec was and walk away from him, and the icy feeling in his veins refused to thaw.

In a fit of desperation he turned around to search for Magnus, and found the bed empty beside him, the sheets cold when he touched them. 

_No! No, no, no, no....this cant be happening. It was only a dream. Only a nightmare. Its NOT true. It cant be!_ Alec thought desperately as his breathing began getting constricted again. Maybe it had been the truth after all. With a loud gasp, Alec slid off the bed and onto the floor, no longer having any energy to remain sitting on the bed, and he clutched his knees tightly, putting his head on his arms, as he wept into them, still not breathing, as black spots began dancing in his vision. 

He called out for Magnus, heard his voice ringing in the apartment, but there was no answering shout. Magnus wasnt at home, and the sun hadn't even risen yet. Something was definitely wrong.

"Magnus....." he managed to scream out. "Come back! Please dont leave me. Mags...." and felt his vision fading away. Just before darkness overtook him completely, he saw a pair of cat eyes looking worriedly at him, and felt a palm pressing against his cheek, but he couldnt be sure, he was too far gone already.

***

Alec groggily raised his head as he regained consciousness, and realised that he was lying on the floor near Magnus's bed, head propped up in someone's lap. Suddenly his memories came flooding in, and Alec cried out loud once more, tears streaking down his cheeks as he recalled that Magnus had indeed left him, one way or another. 

As he sobbed, he felt a hand on his shoulder, rubbing smooth comforting circles, and he was suddenly lifted up off the floor and into someone's lap - the same lap his head had been pillowed against. Shocked, Alec's tears came to a sudden halt. He knew the hand that was brushing his shoulder, knew the rings on the other hand that rested lightly against his thigh, their cold metal pressing into his skin even through the pajama bottoms that he wore. He could recognise the feel of that lap, and the soft tone in which the person spoke, asking him what was wrong. Alec knew who this was.

"Magnus." He muttered in a broken voice as his whole body started shuddering, and he surged forward, wrapping his arms around the warlock, burying his head in Magnus's neck, clutching him desperately, lest he slipped through his fingers once more.

"Shhh....im right here Alexander, right here with you." Magnus whispered softly in his ear, hugging Alec tightly. The sobs continued, and Magnus gripped him harder, hoping to calm him down. Slowly, Alec's tears stopped and his heartbeat came down to normal, and he collapsed bonelessly in Magnus's arms, too tired to move. Noticing that, Magnus began to let go, to help Alec off the floor and onto the bed, where he would be more comfortable, but the minute Magnus let go of him, Alec started shivering again and whispering _no, no, no_ softly. 

_Dont leave me...._

Magnus felt his heart shatter at the sight, and immediately clung on to Alec again. "I am NOT going to leave you Alexander. I just want to put you on the bed. Come on, darling." He prodded Alec's side, and Alec got up slowly, hands still clutching Magnus's forearms, as though afraid to let go. 

"I'm sorry about being so clingy. Its just.... i had a nightmare, that you were dead. And then somehow, by some miracle, you were alive again...but....but you didnt remember me. And you left me Magnus. You just walked away! " Alec whispered softly once they were on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms. Magnus frowned at that. "But, you know it was just a nightmare, right? I would never do that Alexander. Not again. One time was more than enough." he muttered, remembering the last time he had broken up with Alec and how it had almost killed them both. He had become a shell of a man, unable to function properly, and he knew that Alec hadnt been any better. 

"Yes, i knew it was a nightmare. But then, i got up and you werent in bed, your sheets were empty and cold, and i dont know....suddenly it felt like maybe the nightmare wasnt just a nightmare, that maybe it was true....and i couldnt breathe...." Alec gulped back a sob at that, remembering how weak he had felt, remembering the agony.

"Magnus i am a shadowhunter, i thought i knew all about pain. But the idea of not having you in my life.....that was pure agony. I wont be able to live without you, Magnus. I know that for sure." 

He looked up at Magnus, to see tears swimming in his eyes and a few slip down over his cheeks. "Dont cry Mags." He said, brushing them off and Magnus laughed aloud suddenly. "You are the one hurting so much and you dont want _me_ to cry? Oh Alexander...." 

"Im sorry i wasn't in bed, that i wasn't in the house at that time. But the reason for that isn't that i wanted to leave you, that i was going to walk away from you. I will never leave you, and i can prove it to you."

Saying that Magnus softly kissed Alec's lips, sweet and comforting, then pulled himself out of Alec's grasp. Alec reached out for him, but something he saw in Magnus's behaviour seemed to convince him that Magnus wasnt going to leave, and he relaxed slightly, though still gripping Magnus's hand in a death clasp. Magnus kissed Alec's knuckles, and then flexed his fingers slightly, asking Alec to let go. "Trust me, im not leaving. But i need this hand free." He said, and finally, Alec let go. 

Magnus bounced off the bed, Alec following him to the edge, and then it was all a blur as Magnus suddenly pulled out a box, and knelt on the floor in front of Alec. Alec felt his eyes widen, his heart beat pick up again, but this time it was out of elation and not fear. 

"This is why i left so early in the morning. I had to get these rings custom made by a special warlock friend of mine and he lives in a time zone 9 hours ahead of ours. And i couldnt wait, because yesterday, as i saw you sleeping beside me, all i could think of was that i really really wanted to be able to call you my husband." 

Magnus peered deep into Alec's eyes, seeing the reflection of his own cat eyes glinting in them. "So i guess im trying to say, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, is, Will you marry me? I love you so much and i never want to stay without you for even a single minute more."

Alec stared back at Magnus in shock, and slowly a hint of doubt began entering Magnus's mind. What if Alec didnt want this? What if he had jumped too far, too soon? His heart began thumping louder, so much so that he was sure Alec could hear it. "You need to answer Alec. I'll understand if you....if you dont want to marry me....i am a warlock after all....its fine....ill just..... put this away..." Magnus began rambling, as his heart sank, and he began to get up, when Alec flung himself on the warlock. "Magnus!" He snapped. "I love you. Dont say that you are just a warlock. You are my Magnus Bane, _my fiance._ " 

Magnus just looked at him, surprise, hope and relief all mixed together and shining out of his eyes. "Does that mean..."

"Yes. I will marry you Magnus. I love you. Of course ill marry you!"

Magnus laughed out loud and clutched Alec's hand, sliding the platinum ring onto his finger. Then he offered the other ring to Alec, who slid it onto Magnus's finger. As soon as both the rings were in place, Alec felt a sudden woosh and Magnus's voice sounded in his head, even though the warlock hadn't opened his mouth. "I love you Alexander." He said.

Alec gasped out loud. "Did you....i just.... i just heard your thoughts in my mind?" He asked, bewildered. Magnus chuckled. "Yes. I can talk to you like that through my ring. So can you, you just need to direct your thoughts towards me. Now we will never be without each other, and anytime you or i need help, we can easily communicate. The ring will also transport you to wherever you need to go. And..." He grabbed Alec's hand and pressed the small gem set in the metal. A sudden pulse ran through Alec, a steady heart beat began beating in his palm, slower that a human being's. A heartbeat that felt the exact same as Magnus's. He looked up at Magnus with a questioning look in his wide eyes.

Magnus chuckled at that. "Yes. That's my heartbeat. So that you will know if anything happens, if i die...." he began, but was stopped by Alec's lips pressing against his. " Dont talk about death, Mags. Not now." He whispered against his lips.

He then pulled back slightly. " i love the rings, they're beautiful. Just like you and your eyes. But, you actually mean this right....it's not just an attempt to convince me that you will never leave me?"

"Of course i mean it. Alec, i didnt have any idea that you would get a nightmare like that and need comforting. I want to marry you, Alec and thats all this is. And i promise i wont leave you ever again...and this should help both of us if we are ever in any danger. They can also heal us if we are injured, because of the magic infused in them. These rings, they represent our future. And i want this from the bottom of my heart." 

"Well, if you say it that way......" Alec trailed off, not knowing what to say. He made up for it by grabbing Magnus's hand and tugging him closer, brushing the gem in his ring by mistake so that both of theirs were activated, and peppering Magnus's face with soft kisses. The sensation of pure love, and happiness flooded through him, pulsing in time with Magnus's heartbeat at his fingertips and completely pushing away the lingering pain from the earlier events. 

And Alec knew that the nightmare was just that - a nightmare. He had Magnus with him and he knew that the ring had just drastically decreased the possibility of them getting fatally injured. All would be well. As long as they were together, all would be well.

And in that moment, with Magnus in his arms, kissing him back passionately, all fire and sparks, which shifted into a sweet worshipping kiss midway, Alec knew that they would be together forever. 


End file.
